Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink. W.C. Fields
Yes. Sleep. I can't get enough of it. I even start to sleep while driving.
Coffee is my new friend. I like coffee.
I might just be bitching about it. Maybe I do get more than enough sleep. I feel like I've been averaging about 5 hours a night. If I ever get 8 hours of sleep, then it means I lost my jobs.
Yes. Jobs. JobS. With an S. I just got another job.
So the list is : Full time student, stage manager (but only for one more weekend), and jobs at 2 different stores. Though I must say that one f the jobs is only temporary.
3 years ago, who would've thought that I would be trying to do so much? Certainly not me. Now I may be tooting my own here a bit, but dammit I'm doing work!
But I'm also so tired. I've already had a total breakdown. I just, I don't know. I just started crying out of nowhere. And I just cried and cried for about 10 minutes straight. I couldn't catch a breath. So there was that moment in time.
I'm just tired. So tired all the time. My days are running together. I just realized that it's Monday. I'm going to have to remind myself that it's Monday all day today. The same for tomorrow.
I'm so tired that I just spelled tomorrow wrong 3 times in a row. I'm going to have to proof read this entire post.
There was an entire week where I was genuinely falling asleep behind the wheel. Loud music can only do so much. I have slapped myself to stay awake. I have physically harmed myself in the effort to keep moving forward.
These thoughts don't even seem to sting together and make any sense.
That last sentence might not make any sense.
Oh well. This post, I realize, really isn't about anything. I just haven't posted in a while.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Monday, August 27, 2012
busy b
Today is the first day of school!
I am currently sitting at Moody Towers listening to the sudden rush of hungry students. I already had something to eat, but there's a sandwich that looks very good.
My next class doesn't start until 1 pm, so I have plenty of time to kill, hence the forthcoming blog post.
How college student-y of me.
My first class was ENGL Intro to Drama. I'm pretty sure I don't need it, but I needed to be a full time student. My 1:00 class is HIST...something. I totally forgot. Something about the American West I think?
On top of my all day school schedule (which I hate by the way), I have to work. And it's not just one job, there's also the show I'm working on: Superior Donuts. Sunday through Thursday night. Work on the weekend mornings. School Monday through Friday.
I've already had one mental breakdown. I mean I lost it. Tears, the whole thing. Well see how long I last I guess.
I am debating whether or not to leave my stuff here and getting that sandwich, or take it with me and risk losing my seat. Because there are a lot of people here. I should have just gone to Chick-fil-A. Or Taco Bell.
I'm also wondering if you need an ID to get into Cougar Village since my next class is in there. And guess who never got an ID?
Back to my schedule. I checked for all professors on ratemyprofessor. One wasn't on there, but so far so good, because the first one was pretty cool. The next one has a good rating also. Tomorrow's first prof was the one with nothing, and the one after her, also a good rating.
So, that's school so far. On to...the show.
So many rehearsals, and so little time. If anything we have a bad ass set. (badass...bad ass?) And Director did it once again with the sound. But the lines! They just don't seem to know their lines. They have to know their lines. It can't be stressed enough. It'll hold us back technically if they can't pull it together. And there's so much I have to do with it.
I am currently sitting at Moody Towers listening to the sudden rush of hungry students. I already had something to eat, but there's a sandwich that looks very good.
My next class doesn't start until 1 pm, so I have plenty of time to kill, hence the forthcoming blog post.
How college student-y of me.
My first class was ENGL Intro to Drama. I'm pretty sure I don't need it, but I needed to be a full time student. My 1:00 class is HIST...something. I totally forgot. Something about the American West I think?
On top of my all day school schedule (which I hate by the way), I have to work. And it's not just one job, there's also the show I'm working on: Superior Donuts. Sunday through Thursday night. Work on the weekend mornings. School Monday through Friday.
I've already had one mental breakdown. I mean I lost it. Tears, the whole thing. Well see how long I last I guess.
I am debating whether or not to leave my stuff here and getting that sandwich, or take it with me and risk losing my seat. Because there are a lot of people here. I should have just gone to Chick-fil-A. Or Taco Bell.
I'm also wondering if you need an ID to get into Cougar Village since my next class is in there. And guess who never got an ID?
Back to my schedule. I checked for all professors on ratemyprofessor. One wasn't on there, but so far so good, because the first one was pretty cool. The next one has a good rating also. Tomorrow's first prof was the one with nothing, and the one after her, also a good rating.
So, that's school so far. On to...the show.
So many rehearsals, and so little time. If anything we have a bad ass set. (badass...bad ass?) And Director did it once again with the sound. But the lines! They just don't seem to know their lines. They have to know their lines. It can't be stressed enough. It'll hold us back technically if they can't pull it together. And there's so much I have to do with it.
Things That Need to be Done
-Props list
-Scene breakdown for donuts and coffee
-Stuff that has to go in to fridge
-Scene breakdown of when coats are taken on/off by each cast member and where said coats are placed and end up
That last one was a long one.
I think I'm going to go get that sandwich.
*Update: The sandwich was good. It was a grilled ham and cheese.
*Update: The sandwich was good. It was a grilled ham and cheese.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
about her.
This is really just going to be bitching about my cousin, so feel free to ignore it.
She is 28 years old. 28. Years. Old.
She can barely work a microwave. She got olive oil confused with canola oil. Even though they're kept in completely different containers. She can't cook. Anything. She can make those Tyson chicken strips, but only if she remembers which oil is which. All she even eats is McDonald's: number 7, grilled, only mayo. Number 7. Grilled. ONLY MAYO.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?
I'll tell you what it is.
FUCKING DISGUSTING.
She takes 2 showers a day, but doesn't do enough work to justify it. And for a while was doing her laundry. And only her laundry. Why not just go ahead and do all the laundry? We welcome you into our home, feed you (even though you very rudely try to avoid eating because you're so fucking stuck up that you can't even try the food) and you can't just do our laundry too? You know what that amounts to? It means that instead doing laundry once a week, that washer was on almost 3 times a week! She certainly didn't pay the water of electric.
Dishes. Me and my sister are on a rotation. Every other night, I do the dishes. Except not lately because I have rehearsal every night. But other than that, it's an every other day thing. Cousin only does her one dish, and just leaves the rest. She has done the dishes two nights out the 4 months that she's been here. At first we didn't have her do them because she was a guest, and this was a short term thing, but now it's just fucking ridiculous. When I do the dishes, I do everyone's dishes, including hers.
And the food. Let's talk about the food. We touched on it earlier. How she tries to avoid eating what me and mom cook. She doesn't eat rice, corn, or pasta. The first time my mom made some pasta she somehow managed to totally avoid eating it. Isn't that rude? If someone cooks for you, wouldn't you at least try it? Isn't that the polite thing to do? And recently, she gotten into the habit of buying herself lunch. Wouldn't call someone who's at home and ask if they wanted something too? I've paid for her dinner, my parents have paid for her dinner. But she can't be bothered to call and see if we're hungry? The only thing that she's paid for is some Coke. And that's because she drink about 3 cans a day. We, as a family of five, would have a 24 pack of 12 oz cans of coke around for about a week and a half. When she showed up, we could barely keep that same size pack for 3-4 days.
It was me who finally lessened her drinking. She was having ANOTHER coke, with her breakfast of all the damn times, and I finally said "Another coke? Good lord. Do you drink water?" The next day she was drinking a bottle of water. Only bottled water, never out of the fridge. She too good for the fridge-water.
And she's an total idiot. She has no clue about what's going on in the world. Current events, world news, local news, nothing. My brother, an avid reader, tried to talk with her (which is the closest to talking to a wall you ever get outside of actually talking to an actual wall) about books. Nothing. A part of me wonders if she even knows how to read. Me and my siblings were raised watching Jeopardy, we all read, and we're all doing well in school. She doesn't read, only watches FX, and took 10 years to get a supposed degree.
We were told so many great things about her. That she had a degree in Business Administration; nope, she has a secretarial something or other. That she's a great cook; nope, she couldn't even use the microwave. That she's always going to out to parties; nope, she stays in my room 90% of the time she's in the house.
Does she at least have a job? Yes. Full time. Actually at the same Store that currently employs me. When she found out that I got a job there, the jealously on her face was incredible. And maybe you think it was just in my head. Maybe I wanted her to be jealous. No. Because I wasn't the only one who noticed.
And maybe you even think that I might sound jealous of her. Nope. Not at all. I'm proud of myself for being nothing like her. I were thrown out into the world with $1000 cash, I would be able to do something. She's getting money from family in Puerto Rico all the time. And we have the same grandparents. The only I get from them is $50 birthday money every year; same for my brother and sister. Our grandfather pulled out a loan for her car to be shipped over here. She regularly gets money sent over.
So, no, I'm not jealous, but I am frustrated. I have never been so frustrated with a single person in my entire life. I look at her, and feel frustration course through my body. And I'm disappointed. Because I was so excited to have my cousin stay with us. To have some family with us that could get to know and maybe even get along with. Maybe even move out and be roommates with. But we were lied to, by our own family no less. I can't stand her. I can't wait until she finally leaves.
She just has such a selfish, lazy, "I deserve everything" attitude.
And remember, this is a 28 year old that I'm talking about.
She is 28 years old. 28. Years. Old.
She can barely work a microwave. She got olive oil confused with canola oil. Even though they're kept in completely different containers. She can't cook. Anything. She can make those Tyson chicken strips, but only if she remembers which oil is which. All she even eats is McDonald's: number 7, grilled, only mayo. Number 7. Grilled. ONLY MAYO.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?
I'll tell you what it is.
FUCKING DISGUSTING.
She takes 2 showers a day, but doesn't do enough work to justify it. And for a while was doing her laundry. And only her laundry. Why not just go ahead and do all the laundry? We welcome you into our home, feed you (even though you very rudely try to avoid eating because you're so fucking stuck up that you can't even try the food) and you can't just do our laundry too? You know what that amounts to? It means that instead doing laundry once a week, that washer was on almost 3 times a week! She certainly didn't pay the water of electric.
Dishes. Me and my sister are on a rotation. Every other night, I do the dishes. Except not lately because I have rehearsal every night. But other than that, it's an every other day thing. Cousin only does her one dish, and just leaves the rest. She has done the dishes two nights out the 4 months that she's been here. At first we didn't have her do them because she was a guest, and this was a short term thing, but now it's just fucking ridiculous. When I do the dishes, I do everyone's dishes, including hers.
And the food. Let's talk about the food. We touched on it earlier. How she tries to avoid eating what me and mom cook. She doesn't eat rice, corn, or pasta. The first time my mom made some pasta she somehow managed to totally avoid eating it. Isn't that rude? If someone cooks for you, wouldn't you at least try it? Isn't that the polite thing to do? And recently, she gotten into the habit of buying herself lunch. Wouldn't call someone who's at home and ask if they wanted something too? I've paid for her dinner, my parents have paid for her dinner. But she can't be bothered to call and see if we're hungry? The only thing that she's paid for is some Coke. And that's because she drink about 3 cans a day. We, as a family of five, would have a 24 pack of 12 oz cans of coke around for about a week and a half. When she showed up, we could barely keep that same size pack for 3-4 days.
It was me who finally lessened her drinking. She was having ANOTHER coke, with her breakfast of all the damn times, and I finally said "Another coke? Good lord. Do you drink water?" The next day she was drinking a bottle of water. Only bottled water, never out of the fridge. She too good for the fridge-water.
And she's an total idiot. She has no clue about what's going on in the world. Current events, world news, local news, nothing. My brother, an avid reader, tried to talk with her (which is the closest to talking to a wall you ever get outside of actually talking to an actual wall) about books. Nothing. A part of me wonders if she even knows how to read. Me and my siblings were raised watching Jeopardy, we all read, and we're all doing well in school. She doesn't read, only watches FX, and took 10 years to get a supposed degree.
We were told so many great things about her. That she had a degree in Business Administration; nope, she has a secretarial something or other. That she's a great cook; nope, she couldn't even use the microwave. That she's always going to out to parties; nope, she stays in my room 90% of the time she's in the house.
Does she at least have a job? Yes. Full time. Actually at the same Store that currently employs me. When she found out that I got a job there, the jealously on her face was incredible. And maybe you think it was just in my head. Maybe I wanted her to be jealous. No. Because I wasn't the only one who noticed.
And maybe you even think that I might sound jealous of her. Nope. Not at all. I'm proud of myself for being nothing like her. I were thrown out into the world with $1000 cash, I would be able to do something. She's getting money from family in Puerto Rico all the time. And we have the same grandparents. The only I get from them is $50 birthday money every year; same for my brother and sister. Our grandfather pulled out a loan for her car to be shipped over here. She regularly gets money sent over.
So, no, I'm not jealous, but I am frustrated. I have never been so frustrated with a single person in my entire life. I look at her, and feel frustration course through my body. And I'm disappointed. Because I was so excited to have my cousin stay with us. To have some family with us that could get to know and maybe even get along with. Maybe even move out and be roommates with. But we were lied to, by our own family no less. I can't stand her. I can't wait until she finally leaves.
She just has such a selfish, lazy, "I deserve everything" attitude.
And remember, this is a 28 year old that I'm talking about.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
the fork.
There's one thing that needs to be understood right now: I have a tendency to be possessive. Of objects. Not people. That'd be creepy.
Another thing to know: I have a particular fork that I use to eat. It is noticeably different from the other forks, which are clearly part of a set. I feel awkward when I eat with any fork other than my fork.
SHE ATE WITH MY FORK.
But I stopped her.
There I was digging around the drawer for my fork. Digging in the little thing that holds utensils after they've been cleaned by the sink. And then the almost anxiety. Because if it were full-on anxiety over a fork, I would just have give up on life. Bottom line: I needed. my. fork. So I ask aloud, "Where is my fork?"
"What...this one?" And there it is. In her hand. ALREADY BEEN USED. UGH.
"But it's just like all the others."
NO. NO IT'S NOT.
It has a different look. The prongs are thicker. It's heavier. It's totally different! I know because I held up my fork and a regular fork, and I was told that yes, they are totally different!
Unbelievable. She looked at me like I was fucking insane. I already gave her my room, some of my closet, and now she think I'll let her take my fork. No. No no no. I don't think so.
So that's that. She never used it again. And if I catch her with it, I will fucking lose.
Another thing to know: I have a particular fork that I use to eat. It is noticeably different from the other forks, which are clearly part of a set. I feel awkward when I eat with any fork other than my fork.
SHE ATE WITH MY FORK.
But I stopped her.
There I was digging around the drawer for my fork. Digging in the little thing that holds utensils after they've been cleaned by the sink. And then the almost anxiety. Because if it were full-on anxiety over a fork, I would just have give up on life. Bottom line: I needed. my. fork. So I ask aloud, "Where is my fork?"
"What...this one?" And there it is. In her hand. ALREADY BEEN USED. UGH.
"But it's just like all the others."
NO. NO IT'S NOT.
It has a different look. The prongs are thicker. It's heavier. It's totally different! I know because I held up my fork and a regular fork, and I was told that yes, they are totally different!
Unbelievable. She looked at me like I was fucking insane. I already gave her my room, some of my closet, and now she think I'll let her take my fork. No. No no no. I don't think so.
So that's that. She never used it again. And if I catch her with it, I will fucking lose.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
the cup.
This one isn't really a personal story, rather one that unfolded before my eyes.
My mom has a cup. You know, like, there's always that one cup you use to drink water or something? Well, this was my mom's OJ cup.
First full day that Cousin is here, that's the cup she takes. To drink Coke. For breakfast. What the fuck? I know I'm unhealthy, but that shit is ridiculous. So, mom let's it slide. Just to make her feel comfortable. We can't have some shit go down on the first day, right?
Second day. Again with the cup. Third day, again. Before we know it, almost 3 months have gone by, and she's still using mom's cup. In all fairness, there was ample time to mention that it was someone else's cup and have Cousin get another, but then I wouldn't have a story.
Finally, a few weeks ago, something was done about it. One day, a conversation very similar to the following takes place between me and my sister in hushed tones, even though Cousin was a work:
Sister: "I took the cup."
Me: "What? What cup?"
"Mom's cup."
"You took mom's cup?"
"Yeah."
"I still don't --"
"Mom's cup that [Cousin's name] has been using!"
"You took the cup? Where is it?"
"I hid it. We're going to tell her that we think it's broken."
".....okay."
We relay all of this to my mom. Yes, it seems like a lot of work versus kindly asking someone to stop using a cup. But think about how fucking weird that sounds. "Um, could not keep drinking out of that cup? It's mine. For orange juice." Cousin doesn't understand this family dynamic! We have our things, but she would just look at us like we're fucking crazy.
But how would I know that if we've never told her? Because a similar event happened to me. Before this one. But I like that story more, so I saved it for later.
As for the cup? The cup is currently hiding in an unknown location in my mom's room. Cousin thinks it's broken.
Not a word has been mentioned of it since.
My mom has a cup. You know, like, there's always that one cup you use to drink water or something? Well, this was my mom's OJ cup.
First full day that Cousin is here, that's the cup she takes. To drink Coke. For breakfast. What the fuck? I know I'm unhealthy, but that shit is ridiculous. So, mom let's it slide. Just to make her feel comfortable. We can't have some shit go down on the first day, right?
Second day. Again with the cup. Third day, again. Before we know it, almost 3 months have gone by, and she's still using mom's cup. In all fairness, there was ample time to mention that it was someone else's cup and have Cousin get another, but then I wouldn't have a story.
Finally, a few weeks ago, something was done about it. One day, a conversation very similar to the following takes place between me and my sister in hushed tones, even though Cousin was a work:
Sister: "I took the cup."
Me: "What? What cup?"
"Mom's cup."
"You took mom's cup?"
"Yeah."
"I still don't --"
"Mom's cup that [Cousin's name] has been using!"
"You took the cup? Where is it?"
"I hid it. We're going to tell her that we think it's broken."
".....okay."
We relay all of this to my mom. Yes, it seems like a lot of work versus kindly asking someone to stop using a cup. But think about how fucking weird that sounds. "Um, could not keep drinking out of that cup? It's mine. For orange juice." Cousin doesn't understand this family dynamic! We have our things, but she would just look at us like we're fucking crazy.
But how would I know that if we've never told her? Because a similar event happened to me. Before this one. But I like that story more, so I saved it for later.
As for the cup? The cup is currently hiding in an unknown location in my mom's room. Cousin thinks it's broken.
Not a word has been mentioned of it since.
Monday, July 23, 2012
new mini-series.
My cousin moved in with my family 3 months ago. From Puerto Rico.
So I decided to write about it at the suggestion of a couple of people.
A little background for now. Then I guess I'll tell some stories.
As I said before, she comes from the island. She's 28. She's had the incredible luxury of growing up around, and practically being raised by, an aunt, uncle, and grandparents. I call it a luxury because I've only ever pet these people a small handful of time. Maybe 5. Of that 5, I might remember 3. Once they came to Houston. Once that I can remember.
I've also only met my cousin this same amount of times.
So why did she leave a life in Puerto Rico? A life with family who dote on her like a goddamn princess, and (supposedly) friends. We don't know. We may never know. And quite frankly, I don't care too much at this point. We'll get to all that in due time.
The girl has been spoiled fucking rotten for her entire life.
Anyway, she transferred from a store there to a store over here. Same one.
When we started hearing talks about the fact that our cousin, who we almost never see, was moving to Houston, we were pretty damn excited. I offered her my room. Because I do nice shit like that. She got here about a week before mother's day, and we were told that she would have her own place with in a month.
That's what we were told.
It took about that long just to get her damn car over here. Which is a piece of shit by the way.
And now it's 3 months after she arrived, and she's still in my room.
Where am I? I'm sharing a room with my mom.
So I decided to write about it at the suggestion of a couple of people.
A little background for now. Then I guess I'll tell some stories.
As I said before, she comes from the island. She's 28. She's had the incredible luxury of growing up around, and practically being raised by, an aunt, uncle, and grandparents. I call it a luxury because I've only ever pet these people a small handful of time. Maybe 5. Of that 5, I might remember 3. Once they came to Houston. Once that I can remember.
I've also only met my cousin this same amount of times.
So why did she leave a life in Puerto Rico? A life with family who dote on her like a goddamn princess, and (supposedly) friends. We don't know. We may never know. And quite frankly, I don't care too much at this point. We'll get to all that in due time.
The girl has been spoiled fucking rotten for her entire life.
Anyway, she transferred from a store there to a store over here. Same one.
When we started hearing talks about the fact that our cousin, who we almost never see, was moving to Houston, we were pretty damn excited. I offered her my room. Because I do nice shit like that. She got here about a week before mother's day, and we were told that she would have her own place with in a month.
That's what we were told.
It took about that long just to get her damn car over here. Which is a piece of shit by the way.
And now it's 3 months after she arrived, and she's still in my room.
Where am I? I'm sharing a room with my mom.
Friday, July 6, 2012
crazyrandomhappenstance
Yesterday I was waiting for class to start, so naturally I was at the smoking pavilion.
Then my professor walks out of the building. He looks like a damn student. For real. He also smokes.
We had a full fledged conversation about the Fourth of July and family and school. He smoked one Spirit to my 2.5 Camels.
It was weird. Just so weird. But not at all awkward, which was also weird. As for the class, I'm going to pass it so whatever.
As for today, I got my first paycheck! It's direct deposit, so I checked my account online. I have a grand total of....about $88.
Not even triple digits. Incredible. But we all have to start somewhere.
Speaking of the Fourth of July, I made some bomb ass burgers. I wish I should've taken a picture before they were devoured, but with a whole 88 bucks I can only afford a disposable camera at this point. And let's be honest, how embarrassing would it be to go out and buy a fucking disposable camera? I also made fried chicken. So good. I should've taken a picture of that too.
What else, what else.......
Superior Donuts! Superior Donuts starts this month! Auditions are July 22-23 and then the next week we start rehearsal and then run Sept 7-22. Or maybe the 23. We'll get there when we get there. So I'll be doing that for a while.
And yeah, that's what going on. There is truly no point to this post, I just felt like I had to update. I'll leave you with this:
Then my professor walks out of the building. He looks like a damn student. For real. He also smokes.
We had a full fledged conversation about the Fourth of July and family and school. He smoked one Spirit to my 2.5 Camels.
It was weird. Just so weird. But not at all awkward, which was also weird. As for the class, I'm going to pass it so whatever.
As for today, I got my first paycheck! It's direct deposit, so I checked my account online. I have a grand total of....about $88.
Not even triple digits. Incredible. But we all have to start somewhere.
Speaking of the Fourth of July, I made some bomb ass burgers. I wish I should've taken a picture before they were devoured, but with a whole 88 bucks I can only afford a disposable camera at this point. And let's be honest, how embarrassing would it be to go out and buy a fucking disposable camera? I also made fried chicken. So good. I should've taken a picture of that too.
What else, what else.......
Superior Donuts! Superior Donuts starts this month! Auditions are July 22-23 and then the next week we start rehearsal and then run Sept 7-22. Or maybe the 23. We'll get there when we get there. So I'll be doing that for a while.
And yeah, that's what going on. There is truly no point to this post, I just felt like I had to update. I'll leave you with this:
Things I'm going to Buy with my New-Found Windfall (in no particular order)
1) A damn haircut
2) A proper camera
3)Headphones
4) A car via saving up
5) Archery lessons (because I want to be Katniss when I grow up)
6) Video games
7) Random odds and ends to resupply my tacklebox
8) A pack of college-rule paper
9) A nice red wine that would pair nicely with a Harry Potter marathon
10) A cookbook
11) Gas ($3.08 at Kroger!)
12) All the Hunger Games books
13) Some worthless stuff
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